


Lovesick

by GabzJones



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dream Sharing, Falling In Love, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Literature, Love, M/M, Puppies, Romance, Sickness, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-12 14:06:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15996761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GabzJones/pseuds/GabzJones
Summary: There are some really great things that come with finding your soulmate. When you’re sharing skin on skin contact, you can feel each other’s emotions, share dreams, even tell what the other is thinking! Sounds pretty great, right? Well, there are some downsides, too.The more time you spend away from your soulmate, the sicker you get. Victor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katsuki learn this the hard way. Just two strangers before their fingers brushed, but just a touch is all it takes for the connection to be made.





	1. Just a Touch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BriaPia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BriaPia/gifts).



> Super excited to finally be able to post this! Been working on this for a while and it's been so, so much fun! 
> 
> So, for the gift exchange, we were given three different prompts, and we were allowed to incorporate as many of them as we liked. The moment I saw 'Soulmate AU' on the list, I knew I wanted to play with that and make something a little different. This is the result!
> 
> I'll be posting a chapter a day because the anticipation to post this has been killing me, so let's do this.

Yuuri had never felt so claustrophobic, standing in a sea of people, all chattering, the excitement in the air palpable. He wanted Phichit to be there with him, but he was busy that afternoon. The one afternoon he needed his best friend by his side, and he was alone. Looking down at the book in his hand, Yuuri wasn’t so sure he made the right decision.  _Melting the Ice_. It was the first book by Victor Nikiforov that Yuuri had ever read, and though he loved every word of every story since, it remained his favourite, the one that always stuck with him.

Everyone around him had either mountains of books, or the newest release. Maybe he should’ve brought some others in his collection, but Yuuri thought that would be a bit much. Victor already had so many people to see, so many books to sign. He thought about getting the newest release signed, but it didn’t hold the same value to Yuuri.  _Melting the Ice_  was what brought him to this point.  _Melting the Ice_  was the book he’d read so many times he’d practically memorised every sentence. His copy was a little tattered from countless years of reading, but it was the only thing he really wanted Victor’s hand to touch.

People bumped passed Yuuri, rushing into the bookstore ahead of him, though he really wasn’t sure how there was anymore room inside for people to be squeezing through. Everyone’s books were in pristine condition, some in packaging to be sure nothing would happen to them. Yuuri’s looked like it had been a cat’s plaything in comparison. Maybe Victor wouldn’t be happy to see his work looking in such ill shape. Maybe all of this was a terrible idea. But Victor Nikiforov was an inspiration. His words had hit Yuuri like a stream of cold water. So beautiful, so deep and profound. Victor saw the world in his own special way, a way that inspired everyone who picked up his books.

It also helped that he had the looks of a model. Skin like porcelain, pale and pristine. He always had a mysterious smile in his pictures, soft azure eyes framed by long lashes and sparkling with something Yuuri couldn’t define. Strands of silver hair always falling into those pretty eyes. Silver hair. Yuuri still found that hard to believe. Who had silver hair? He thought maybe it was just a lot of photoshop. No one looked so effortlessly beautiful in reality. It didn’t matter, though. Yuuri had fallen for the words Victor wrote, the stories he weaved, the worlds he created so seamlessly. His looks really didn’t mean anything.

The possibility that his looks played a part in his popularity couldn’t be denied, though. Victor had said in interviews that he had yet to find his soulmate. Just one touch, that’s all it would take. Victor Nikiforov was stunning and had an incredible mind. To have the stars align and tell you that he belongs with you would be a dream. Yuuri supposed most people came to the book signing in the hopes of touching Victor’s skin and finding out if maybe they would be the lucky one. Of course, most celebrities wore gloves for that exact reason, but if there’s an opportunity, the public will take it.

“Alright, everyone! Form an orderly line. Mr. Nikiforov will be out shortly,” Yuuri recognised the man calling for attention as one of the owners of the bookshop. Yuuri had visited enough times to know the Nishigori family. He could only imagine what this must be doing for publicity.

Unfortunately, the announcement only served to increase the excitement of the crowd, people moving rapidly to line up, Yuuri dragged in their wake. He’d lost count of how many people had brushed by, whether to move ahead of him or to move back. This could be problematic. The amount of skin to skin contact in a place like this couldn’t be good. Yuuri thought that was only something for the celebrity in question to be worried about. He hadn’t thought about what could happen to him. Looking back at the cover of his beloved book, Yuuri knew this was worth the risk. Besides, the consequences of a soul bond weren’t all bad. This was simply one of the more awful places to discover one. Then again, was there ever really a good way to find your soulmate when they were a complete stranger?

The excited screams were reminiscent of a concert, and Yuuri could only assume that meant Victor had made his appearance. From his place in the middle of the crowd, Yuuri couldn’t see much of anything. The only reason he knew that things were happening was due to the excited sounds of fans meeting the man who had inspired them, too. At least, Yuuri supposed that’s why they were there. Glancing around the room, he noticed that there had been a walkway created to the side of the shop for those who had gotten their books signed to leave without fear of being trampled in the crowd. Well, at least they thought that far ahead.

In the meantime, the crowd was impatient. Yuuri could feel himself pressed against other people without much say in the matter. The sooner it would be over, the better. It would all be worth it. He’d meet the man whose words had inspired him, he’d thank Victor for his work, for the stories that kept him going in the dark times. He’d smile, show his gratitude, and hopefully, Victor would be as kind as his words had been to Yuuri over the years.

Hopefully.

It took just under an hour for Yuuri to be at the front of the line. Maybe he should’ve gotten there earlier, but he had thought he’d managed to get there early enough. Who knew people would camp out to meet an author? Yuuri would question if it was really worth all that trouble, but he adored Victor Nikiforov. He knew it was worth it.

Watching as the person ahead of him excitedly showered Victor with praise, Yuuri stared in awe at the man sat behind the table, a mountain of books on either end as if to frame him. He smiled politely, responding to any questions, or thanking them for their praise. Victor wasn’t wearing gloves. It was surprising for someone clearly so popular, someone who must’ve travelled all over the world for events like these. For someone who rarely stayed in one place for long, finding your soulmate could be detrimental, but Victor Nikiforov didn’t seem to care. His bangs drooped down as he focused his attention on the book, scribbling his signature on the page before handing it to the excited fan. And suddenly Yuuri was being ushered forward.

Yuuri moved automatically, the world around him seeming to slow down as he moved closer. This was it. He was about to meet the man who had brought so much light into his life with nothing more than words on a page, the man who had given him worlds to escape to when reality was too harsh to face. Yuuri stood in front of the table, eyes trained on Victor Nikiforov and clinging to his beloved book like a lifeline. How did people do this? How did they meet their idols without making fools of themselves?

Victor smiled, his lips curving to form such a sweet, heart warming shape, one completely unlike any of the smiles in his photos. Flicking silver hair from his bright blue eyes, real silver hair, Victor looked even prettier in person. If the photos had been edited, it was only to make Victor look more human. The man sitting in front of him was something else. Yuuri had always told himself he wasn’t like the fans who obsessed over Victor for his looks, but standing before him, he found himself… speechless.

“Hello! I hope you haven’t been waiting too long,” Victor’s Russian accent was obvious, his voice bubbly, melodic. Yuuri could feel his heart hammering in his chest.

“N-No! No, not at all. It was worth the wait,” Yuuri cringed the moment the words left his mouth. Too keen, he sounded too much like a fanboy. He absolutely was one, but Victor had dealt with enough of those today, he didn’t need to go making it worse.

“Well, I’m glad you think so,” Victor chuckled, a sound that seemed to flutter through the air and soothe the anxiety simmering within Yuuri, “I didn’t catch your name?”

“Oh. Right,” Why was he asking for his name? Yuuri looked down at the book in his hand, realisation dawning on him. Right, for the signing. Stop being weird, stop being awkward, he just wants to know a name to write a message in the book. He’s going to write a message. In Yuuri’s book. With the same hands that were used to write all those beautiful words. Yuuri took a shaky breath, trying to steady himself, “Yuuri. M-My name’s Yuuri.”

“Yuuri,” Victor seemed to test the name, to see how it tasted on his tongue. It sounded beautiful, at least. The way he drew out the name, Yuuri could’ve listened to it all day, “What would you like me to sign for you today, Yuuri?”

Looking down at the book in his hand, Yuuri worried his bottom lip between his teeth, hesitantly handing it to his idol, their hands just barely missing each other, “Um, just this. Please.”

Victor carefully turned the book over in his hand, flipping through a few pages, “Wow. This thing’s seen a lot of love,” He mused aloud, tilting his head as he scrutinised the book’s condition.

Yuuri froze, remembering how rough the book looked. It was tattered, some of the pages dog eared, but that didn’t make it any less special to him. Averting his gaze, Yuuri rubbed the back of his neck as he spoke, “Oh um, it’s my favourite book. I’ve read it so many times over the years, I guess it got a little roughed up. Sorry, you’re probably used to people treating them better…”

As Yuuri finally worked up the courage to look back into Victor’s eyes, he was surprised to find Victor staring back at him, chin cradled on his hand, elbow rested against the table. His eyes sparkled. They actually sparkled, and Yuuri could only watch as Victor’s smile grew, “Don’t apologise. A book shouldn’t be left on a shelf or packaged for its own safety. It should be cherished, enjoyed. Seeing how much joy you’ve gotten from my work means the world to me.”

Yuuri’s breath hitched as Victor’s smile grew into a heart shape, a smile just for him, a smile Yuuri had been able to bring out of Victor Nikiforov. Maybe he was reading too much into that. He was surely just being polite. Yuuri watched as Victor flipped the book open, his tongue jutting out the corner of his lips as he wrote in it. Yuuri was learning a lot in a short time. Victor Nikiforov was even more stunning in person. He did smile more genuinely than any of his photos. Victor appreciated a used book more than one in pristine condition. And even though he was absolutely breathtaking, he could also be adorable.

Whoever got to be Victor Nikiforov’s soulmate really was the luckiest person in the world.

As Victor handed the book back, his bright smile returned, “You want to take a photo?”

“Huh?” Yuuri stared at Victor, at a loss for words. Some people had gotten pictures with him, others must’ve been too starstruck to receive the same treatment. Or maybe they were rushing through all the people, that was a possibility.

“A photo? You’re obviously a big fan if you’ve read my books this much,” Yuuri would’ve felt awkward if not for the genuine smile he was being given.

“Oh. Okay,” Pulling his phone from his pocket, he scrolled through the apps, finding the camera, and suddenly Victor was on his feet, rounding the table and standing beside Yuuri. So close. Their shoulders brushed together, and Yuuri felt his heart begin to race again.

Their fingertips brushed as Victor took Yuuri’s phone from his hands, a tingling sensation taking Yuuri off guard, his heart fluttering. Wow, he really was a ridiculous fanboy. Victor wrapped an arm loosely around Yuuri’s shoulders, and Yuuri quickly found himself leaning into Victor, indulging in a little moment of closeness. After all, this was a once in a lifetime experience. As Victor held out the phone with his free hand, Yuuri smiled shyly at the camera, hearing the sound of the photo being taken, and suddenly it was over. Victor was handing him his phone, flipping silver hair from his eyes and speaking gently, “It was wonderful to meet you, Yuuri.”

Yuuri looked down at his phone for a moment, a nervous smile returning as he looked back into those eyes for the last time, “Yeah. Thank you… Victor.”

As Yuuri was ushered out of the store, he looked down at the book in his hands, opening it to see what Victor had written. There in messy handwriting was a simple but eloquent sentence, a rough scribble of a poodle underneath.

_May Yuuri’s heart guide him to spectacular surprises and unparalleled happiness. – Victor Nikiforov_

* * *

 

“Does Oberon truly love Titania?” Yuuri left the question open, looking around the room at the students he was busy teaching. Some of them were barely paying attention, others seemed eager to respond, but Yuuri simply waited for someone to speak, sitting atop his desk with a book in hand.

“We can’t answer that,” The blond towards the back with his chin rested on his hand, clearly bored spoke up, “We can’t tell you what someone thinks.”

Yuri Plisetsky was definitely a bright student for his first year in college but was quickly becoming troublesome for Yuuri to deal with. His answers were always the same, always trying to pick apart the question. The questions he was paid to ask, the questions that were part of the curriculum. Yuuri liked to think he at least made it somewhat interesting for them.

“You have a point,” Yuuri conceded, slipping off his desk to pace around the front of the room, “But literature is about interpretation. We go into these worlds, and we all see things a little differently. We’re here to learn how to interpret, how to analyse. I want you to be able to read a story and appreciate all the details the author has left for you to discover,” Yuuri smiled, “So tell me. Do you think Oberon loved Titania?”

Yuri paused for a moment, seeming to think over the question, “Yeah. He loved her.”

“But if he loved her, why’d he give her the potion?”

“He was jealous. It was payback,” Yuri shrugged.

“That can’t be denied,” Yuuri flipped through the pages in his book, giving him a moment to think, a moment to ignore the dull throb of his headache and focus on the lesson, “But can you call that love?”

 A very excitable student at the front of the class was practically bouncing in his seat. Minami Kenjirou knew exactly what his answer was without a moment’s hesitation. Yuuri suspected the possibility that maybe he’d been coming up with answers the night before, “He didn’t love her. You don’t hurt the ones you love.”

Yuuri nodded, leaning against his desk, “But as Yuri said, he was jealous. Love makes us do strange things,” He laughed as a pout settled on Minami’s face, slumping back in his seat, “There are no wrong answers in this discussion, Minami. Relax.”

“You’re asking the wrong question,” A voice beside Yuri spoke up.

Otabek Altin was always a quiet student, but one of Yuuri’s favourites. He didn’t speak up often, but when he did, he always said something important. He seemed to see the things that the rest of the class missed. Yuuri raised an eyebrow, “Am I?”

“Isn’t it more important to look at whether she loved  _him_? Oberon’s her consort, but she has eyes for another man. If she loved him, she wouldn’t have eyes for anyone else. Maybe Oberon thought his marriage was already in ruins and lashed out because of it,” Otabek’s expression remained neutral, his fingers absentmindedly flipping through the pages of his book.

Yuuri’s smile grew as he listened to Otabek, “An interesting thought,” He glanced over at the clock, sighing softly, “Alright, that’s enough for today. We’ll pick this up next lesson. Don’t forget your essays are due next week.”

The moment everyone had left the room and Yuuri was alone, he slumped against his desk, breathing a heavy sigh. It had been a month since he’d met Victor Nikiforov, truly a life changing experience, but life had simply continued on. Yuuri liked to think that Victor had walked into his life and touched it in some deep, profound way, but truthfully, he’d done that a long time ago. Things just went back to normal. Only, life wasn’t going so great for Yuuri. He’d been growing more distracted, having trouble keeping his mind focused. The headaches were getting worse, and he could only take the bright lights of the classroom for so long. They only worked to fuel the dull throb in his head.

Yuuri knew he was probably getting sick but refused to think about it. Yuuri Katsuki didn’t get sick. He worked through it until it went away, and that was exactly what Yuuri was going to do. Whatever this was, it wasn’t going to beat him. All signs pointed to a flu, that’s what Phichit had said, but the thing that had concerned Yuuri most was that his skin felt… wrong. It wasn’t a feeling he’d ever had before; like his skin was too tight, too dry, like there was something missing. He’d scrubbed at his skin to make that feeling go away, but it stayed, a numbness that remained no matter what he did, something just wasn’t right. Yuuri hadn’t told Phichit that particular detail, knowing he’d panic if he knew. But the same question kept rolling around in Yuuri’s mind.

_What’s wrong with me?_


	2. Not Love Sickness

“Yuuri, I think it’s time we consider the possibility—”

“No,” Yuuri groaned, the dull throb in his head ever present, “It’s not love sickness.”

It had been another week and the symptoms had persisted. Worse, they’d grown. The headaches were constant, a persistent pain that he’d almost become used to. Yuuri couldn’t even leave the house without sunglasses, the sensitivity to light had become so jarring, and the fatigue made getting out of bed in the morning all the more difficult. That was just a flu. It had to be. A very persistent one, but that had to be all it was.

The strange feeling of his skin had developed into something more, too. His skin tingled, especially around his fingers, something he couldn’t explain away, something he refused to tell Phichit about. It wasn’t love sickness. It couldn’t be love sickness.

Phichit frowned, watching as Yuuri laid on the couch, eyes closed. He looked exhausted, though the day had barely begun, “Alright, clench your fist for me.”

“What? Why?” Yuuri knew why. He knew exactly what Phichit was doing, but he didn’t want to play into it. Love sickness was a strange thing. Finding your soulmate and creating the bond was great, and there were so many benefits. Just skin to skin contact, that’s all it took to awaken that bond. With it came the ability to feel what your soulmate feels, to even share dreams with them. All it took was touch.

But it could turn sour. After a month without contact, the symptoms of love sickness started to set in, and they only got worse as you spent more time apart. Yuuri didn’t want to believe it was true. Sure, it wasn’t life threatening, but it was still a problem, it still made life unbearable. This was why Yuuri avoided big crowds. This was why he should’ve worn gloves more often than he did. Skin to skin contact was terrifying, but also enticing. Because what if he did find his soulmate? Wouldn’t his life be more enriched for it?

But what if his soulmate didn’t like him?

Yuuri shuddered at the thought, shaking his head. It wasn’t love sickness. It couldn’t be. Phichit moved closer, pressing the back of his hand against Yuuri’s forehead as if to check his temperature. Yuuri wasn’t sure why. Fevers weren’t a symptom of love sickness, “Just do it. Humour me.”

Yuuri rolled his eyes, holding a hand up in front of him, and carefully clenching his fist. He did his best to mask the pain as he did, gritting his teeth. It was more painful than he expected it to be. For all the things they warned you about, there probably should’ve been more of an emphasis on joint pain. But it definitely wasn’t love sickness. Yuuri glanced over at Phichit, seeing the look on his face, that look that said, ‘I don’t believe you for a second.’ Yeah, Yuuri wasn’t fooling himself, either.

“The book signing lines up with when this started,” Phichit was already scrolling through his phone, prepared to search out the name of every person Yuuri had touched in the last month. He dropped to the floor beside Yuuri, glancing up at him, “Who’d you come in contact with there?”

Yuuri groaned, opening his eyes to shoot a dejected look in Phichit’s direction, “Do you have any idea how many people were there? The crowd was huge. I probably got touched by everyone in town.”

Phichit stared back at Yuuri, his lips a tight line. This wasn’t good and they both knew it. It wasn’t that being separated from his soulmate would kill him, but his life would be so miserable he’d almost wish it had. Yuuri was already looking depressed, the symptoms bringing his mood down. They both knew it was only going to get worse, and Phichit wasn’t willing to watch his best friend suffer like that. He’d find Yuuri’s soulmate, no matter what it took.

“Alright, I’ll start sending out messages and asking around town to see if anyone’s sick like you are. If there’s anyone in town in the same state as you, they’ll want to meet up quick.”

A grumble came from Yuuri, though Phichit couldn’t decipher the meaning behind it. He simply watched as Yuuri reached for a nearby cushion, hugging it to his chest. He was truly miserable, but it wasn’t the kind of miserable that came with a flu. That kind of helpless feeling could be slept away. A week, and it would be gone. No, this was something more. The tingly, dry, horrible feeling of his skin wouldn’t go away. He needed touch, craved it. Yuuri had never felt such an intense need to have someone, anyone close before, and the feeling of his skin, the feeling that it didn’t fit, that something was missing; it brought a wave of despair upon him. Yuuri glanced over at Phichit, hesitantly offering his hand, “Peach? Can you just…?” He left the question open ended, knowing Phichit knew exactly what he was asking for.

Glancing up from his phone, Phichit reached out and took Yuuri’s hand, threading their fingers together. Touch, that’s what he needed. It didn’t need to be anything more than this, Yuuri simply needed to be touched. It was one of the worst symptoms of love sickness; the feeling of being so entirely touch starved. It had never made sense before. Yuuri had never gone out of his way to seek even the simplest of affection, but suddenly it felt like his skin was on fire, like it didn’t fit, like there were bugs crawling on his fingers. It just felt wrong. Phichit watched Yuuri curiously, “Better?”

Yuuri stared at their linked hands for a moment, a silence falling between them. He waited. And waited. After a minute passed, he whined sadly, pulling his hand away and clutching the pillow to his chest, “Not working.”

Phichit frowned as he watched his friend roll onto his side, turning away from him. Looking back at his phone, he had already started to search out the names of people who had gone to the book signing when the thought hit him, “Yuuri?”

“Hm?”

“You didn’t… touch Victor, did you?”

Yuuri didn’t even bother to turn around, “Victor’s not my soulmate.”

“Okay, but did you touch him?” Phichit hadn’t found his own soulmate yet, he hadn’t ever had to go searching to find someone’s other half before, but he was good with social media. If there was anyone who could find Yuuri’s soulmate, it was him. Still, he couldn’t rule out anyone, even the famous Victor Nikiforov. If Yuuri had touched him, he had to be contacted, too. It would just be a lot more difficult than anyone else.

A scowl appeared on Yuuri’s features as he thought about the day. It was over a month ago, and Yuuri’s head had been a mess recently, so recalling all the details wasn’t easy. He remembered the moment Victor’s eyes met his, the way that bright smile made his knees feel weak. That wasn’t really helpful information, though. They spoke, Yuuri gave him his book, but their hands never touched. Of course they didn’t touch, why would Victor have touched him? Sure, he wasn’t wearing gloves, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t being cautious.

Victor had been sweet, wearing that smile that could melt even the coldest of hearts, and then he signed Yuuri’s book. It was a regular signing. A wonderful, beautiful experience that he’d never forget, but that’s all it was. But then, there was the photo… Yuuri froze, turning onto his back and staring at the ceiling, “He touched me for like, half a second when I gave him my phone.”

“You gave him your phone?” Phichit’s voice rose an octave higher than Yuuri had anticipated, causing him to wince. His headache really wasn’t making things any easier.

Yuuri pulled his phone out of his pocket, scrolling through the apps until he found his gallery and pulled up the picture of them. Yuuri’s face was bright red, book clutched to his chest and sporting a shy smile. Victor on the other hand, looked just as stunning as ever, his bright heart shaped smile on display and a hand rested gently on Yuuri’s arm. Yuuri didn’t remember that particular detail from the meeting, but he wasn’t complaining. If only he didn’t look so embarrassing in the picture. Yuuri handed Phichit his phone, “He wanted to take a picture, so I gave him my phone.”

Phichit grinned as he looked at the picture, “Aw you guys are adorable.”

“We’re not!” Yuuri groaned, his own voice causing the pain in his head to spike, “It’s just a picture, he took them with a bunch of people.”

“But you touched him,” Phichit pointed out, handing Yuuri back his phone and typing Victor’s name into his own, “That means we can’t rule him out.”

“Listen very carefully,” Yuuri looked at Phichit through half lidded eyes, punctuating his words carefully, “Victor. Nikiforov. Is. Not. My. Soulmate.”

* * *

 

There was nothing in the world that made Victor Nikiforov more excited than being sick. He didn’t have an amazing immune system, but it was good enough that sicknesses weren’t too common. Every time Victor felt himself getting sick, a feeling of elation swept through him. That, and nausea. Mostly nausea. But whenever the headaches came along, when the fatigue set in and his muscles began to ache, Victor was filled with a bubbly energy deep beneath the surface, his mind fumbling over the same questions; is it time? Is this the one? Is it finally love sickness?

Victor was a hopeless romantic and had been on a desperate search for his soulmate since he was a child. Sure, at first, Victor didn’t know what it meant. When he was a kid, he thought a soulmate was someone who was destined to be his best friend, and he would buzz with childish excitement at the mere mention of his soulmate, the possibility of having a friend who completely understood him, someone who would share his interests and play all his favourite games with him.

As he grew up, he learned that soulmates weren’t just friends. In rare circumstances, they were, but mostly, soulmates were the ones who held a piece of your heart. They were the ones who made you whole and brought love into your life. The concept was just as intriguing to Victor, and he found himself gravitating towards love stories, to learning as much as he could about soulmates and how he could find his own. The stories fuelled him, and his vivid imagination soon created his own, and then he finally started writing them. There was no intention for them to become popular, but it worked in his favour. Victor could use the fame from his writing to travel, to meet as many people as he could.

To find his soulmate.

With every sickness, Victor’s anticipation grew. Whenever the symptoms set in, he’d bounce with excitement, telling the people around him that this was it, this time it was real. It had never actually been real. Victor was always wracked with disappointment, but it never stopped him trying. Every time he had the chance to travel, to meet new people, Victor took it. He forever held out the hope that one day, he’d find the one.

As a knock at the door reverberated through the apartment, Victor groaned, staring at the dark ceiling of his apartment. He didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to move. He’d been sick a few times, but nothing compared to this. It was more than just sickness. It was discomfort. It was the feeling that something was… missing. Victor had toyed with the idea that maybe this time it was the one, this time he really had found his soulmate, but the fatigue had set in, and the strange feeling of his skin was making him too miserable to think positively.

Another knock rang through the apartment, this time catching Makkachin’s attention, the poodle bounding towards the front door and barking excitedly. The sound of her bork was even louder than the knocking, shooting straight through Victor’s head like a jackhammer. He groaned once more, reluctantly getting up and heading towards the door. It was the only way he was going to get any peace and quiet. Victor gently nudged Makkachin away from the door as he opened it, turning away and heading straight for the couch the moment he saw who it was, “What’re you doing here so early?”

“It’s two in the afternoon,” Isabella frowned as she stepped into the familiar apartment, books and papers in hand. She gently closed the door behind her, kneeling to greet an excited Makkachin sitting at her side, “You said you had ideas for a new story, but I haven’t received anything from you. It’s been weeks.”

Victor glanced over at her, “Okay, first of all, I lied,” It happened more and more often. He’d tell Isabella he had an idea for a new story to ease her mind and hope that some inspiration would hit him before she learned the truth. Lately, she was learning the truth more than he was coming up with ideas, “Secondly, it’s two already?”

Isabella looked up from Makkachin, watching Victor curiously. She’d been there every time Victor excitedly bounced around with a runny nose, declaring that he was lovesick. She’d been the one to point out every time that his symptoms weren’t the same. This was different. Victor had never looked so… depressed. Standing upright, Isabella carefully brushed out any creases that may have appeared in her pencil skirt, walking over and dropping her books down on the coffee table with a loud thud. She didn’t miss the way Victor flinched away from the sound.

Sitting at the edge of the table, Isabella tilted her head, looking Victor over, “You look like hell.”

“And you are a terrible motivational speaker,” Victor smiled sweetly despite the aching in his head, “Can you close the blinds? It’s too bright in here.”

Isabella narrowed her eyes at the sickly writer, turning to her pile of books and papers and pulling out a document. She reached into her pocket, acquiring a pen and offering it to Victor, “First, I need you to sign this.”

“What is it?”

“Take the pen and read it for yourself,” She thrusted the pen in his direction, watching him curiously. Victor didn’t even bother trying to sit up as he reached for the pen, his jaw clenching as he gripped it. Her breath caught, and suddenly, Isabella slipped from the table, moving to Victor’s side and resting the back of her hand on his forehead, “Sensitive to light, headache, what else?”

“What are you doing?” Victor gently swatted her hand away, “You’re my editor, not my mom.”

“You know, sometimes I think that line is a little blurred,” Isabella smiled regardless, watching him closely, “Answer the question.”

“Uh, I’m really tired, and my skin feels gross,” Victor lulled his head to the side, silver bangs draping over his face, “I probably need a shower.”

“Like your skin’s kinda itchy and tingly, yeah?”

“Yeah…” Victor frowned, “How’d you know? Is there a bug going around?”

Isabella rolled her eyes, gently slapping Victor’s arm as she paced around the room, Makkachin following her every move, “You idiot. I told you so many times to just wear gloves when you’re meeting fans.”

Victor pouted, “You know I can’t do that. The whole thing would be pointless if I did.”

“I just can’t believe it actually worked,” Isabella muttered to herself, arms crossed over her chest.

“Wait,” Victor sat up, looking reminiscent of a deer caught in headlights. A very sick, very tired deer, “You mean… it really is…?”

“Feel free to dance around the room,” Isabella smiled. She was worried, her friend was in pain and she didn’t have the first clue who it was he’d touched to bring him to this point, but she couldn’t deny she was happy for him, too. Isabella knew how long he’d been waiting for this, how many let downs he’d had when he realised he was just sick and hadn’t yet found his other half. After all this time, all his hard work just to have an excuse to meet people, he’d found them.

Now they just had to find whoever it was again.

“Did you hear that, Makka?” Victor was beaming, and his excitement had quickly caught the poodle’s attention. She rushed from Isabella’s side, jumping onto the couch and crawling onto Victor’s lap, “I bet they’re gonna love you.”

“We have to find them first,” Isabella pointed out, beginning her slow pace around the room once more, “You had a bunch of book signings all over America a month ago. Figuring out where your soulmate met you won’t be easy.”

“Sure, it will,” Victor pulled out his phone, swiping through apps as he spoke, “I just have to tell people that I’m looking for my soulmate, and the fans will help.”

“Don’t be stupid!” Isabella quickly snatched the phone from his hands, “The moment they hear you’re sick, everyone will try to claim to be your soulmate.”

“Aw, you think I’m that much of a catch?” Victor batted his eyelashes, smiling brightly as he played with Makkachin’s ears.

“Your soulmate’s gonna have their hands full.” Isabella laughed, opening Victor’s twitter and scrolling through his mentions. It was a mess. Fans had left messages thanking him for signing their books, quotes from his stories, and a lot of declarations of love. There were even some questions aimed at the famous author; some normal, some bordering on insane. Victor’s fans knew him well, at least.

“So, if I can’t announce it, how are we going to find them?” Victor asked curiously, trying to contain his excitement. It wasn’t as difficult as he expected it to be when his whole body felt like it wanted to give up and sleep.

Isabella frowned as she scrolled through the direct messages, “That might not be a problem,” She glanced up at Victor, “Phichit…Chu. Do you remember meeting a Phichit?”

Victor furrowed his brow. He’d met a lot of people as he moved from city to city, signing books and trying to be as charming as humanly possible. After all, he didn’t know if he was meeting his soulmate. Victor had to charm them all just to be on the safe side. Victor couldn’t remember everyone’s name, but Phichit was unique. He was sure if he’d met a Phichit, he’d remember that.

“Wait, never mind,” Isabella was scrolling through the message, “Yuuri.”

“Yuuri?” Victor felt like his mind was in a tumble dryer, trying to fumble for information that kept getting tangled with other thoughts. Yuuri did sound familiar, but he wasn’t sure where he’d heard it before. So many names, so many people he’d met. Maybe this plan hadn’t been as great as he’d thought it would be.

Isabella tapped her finger on the screen before handing the phone back to Victor, a picture of him with his arm around a shy looking fan on display, “According to his friend, he’s love sick. And it lines up with meeting you.”

Victor beamed as he looked down at the picture, the memories of meeting the adorably shy fan coming back to him, “He had a tattered book. Said it was his favourite,” Victor held the phone up to show Isabella the picture, “Look at how cute he is!”

“We won’t know it’s him ‘till we get you two together,” Picking up a book from the table, Isabella started writing down notes, “You better start packing.”


	3. Home

A week. It had taken another week for them to get things settled. Victor had to get a flight, he had to let his publisher know that he was taking time off. Hell, he even had to get the okay for Makkachin to fly with them, because there was no way in the world Victor was meeting his soulmate without Makkachin by his side. If his soulmate didn’t like Makkachin, could they really be soulmates at all?

Of course, it wasn’t really Victor who had taken care of any of it. Isabella had been the one pulling all the strings, even getting tickets for herself and JJ to join him. Victor had protested JJ joining them, but she made a good point; they didn’t know how long they’d be and the last thing she wanted was to start feeling like Victor did because she stayed away from him for too long. Victor hadn’t thought about how long they’d be in Detroit for. If it was true, if his soulmate was there, Victor wanted to stay there. It made perfect sense in his head. Victor could write anywhere in the world, but he didn’t want his soulmate’s life to be uprooted just to suit him.

He was getting ahead of himself. Victor still didn’t know if this was even the real deal yet, but the way he felt was only getting worse. With another week separating them, the symptoms were stacking up. The hot and cold flushes were just another discomfort, and they only served to make Victor’s skin feel worse. He’d barely been able to sleep, all the symptoms keeping him up, but when he did manage it, he was out for hours longer than he ever normally slept.

Victor wondered if it was this bad for his soulmate. Yuuri. It still felt so unreal to have a name, the name of the man who was supposedly his other half. He only hoped the sickness was being kinder to Yuuri. Victor didn’t want to think about his soulmate suffering, especially when it was Victor’s fault. The sickness had always seemed so poetic before. It was as though they literally couldn’t live without each other, to be apart would be to suffer. Both emotionally, and physically. There was something so beautiful about that. But that poetry wasn’t worth hurting someone who would one day mean everything to him.

Victor wanted to know what Yuuri was thinking, if he was feeling okay, but unfortunately, he didn’t have any way to find out. Not from Yuuri himself, at least. Victor had kept contact with his friend, Phichit. He wasn’t able to gleam much information about his potential soulmate, though. All he knew was that Yuuri was a literature teacher, that he didn’t use social media to stay away from students outside of lessons, and that he absolutely did not believe Victor was his soulmate. Phichit hadn’t even told him that Victor was traveling to see him. When Victor asked why, the answer was simple; Yuuri would be too nervous, he’d hide away, and they’d never get to see each other.

So, Yuuri was the shy type. Victor could work with that. He was sure it would be completely adorable. The meeting he had at that book signing was really all he had to work with. He remembered how nervous Yuuri seemed, how he apologised for the tattered remains of his book. But it just filled Victor with a warm feeling of elation. There was Yuuri, someone who enjoyed his work so much, he’d read it enough times for the book to be in that state. Victor wanted to ask Yuuri what his favourite parts were, why he liked it so much against all the others. He wanted to know everything about Yuuri.

Isabella had insisted that he shouldn’t get his hopes up, that they wouldn’t know if Yuuri was the person they were looking for until they got there, but Victor could feel it. When he thought about those eyes like chocolate against honey, the way Yuuri had looked at him with a mix of awe and longing, Victor knew. He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t seen it right then and there. Yuuri was his other half. There was nothing in the world that made more sense to him than that.

Victor had tried to sleep during the plane ride, but no matter how tired he was, sleep wouldn’t come. Part of it was because of his nerves; the excitement of getting to meet his soulmate. Of course, technically he’d already met him, but it felt somehow different when he knew how important the person he was meeting actually was. The other part was because of the never-ending pounding in his head, the nausea only made worse by the plane’s movement. Victor couldn’t wait for the flight to end.

Of course, when it did end, it just meant more travelling. JJ had left them to check into his and Isabella’s hotel. Victor was grateful for the break. There really was only so much ‘JJ Style’ he could put up with for so long. He’d have to congratulate Isabella later for her incredible restraint. Victor was sure he would’ve slapped JJ upside the head by now if he were in her position. The car ride remained quiet, Victor staring at his phone, hoping to hear more information from Yuuri’s friend. All he knew was that they were indeed home, that in a matter of minutes, Victor would be meeting his soulmate. How did people normally go about this? He thought about introducing himself, but that felt really quite pointless. Yuuri definitely knew who he was. But Victor knew what he had to do. It was so simple, so obvious.

He was going to woo Yuuri.

It seemed so silly, but Victor wanted to do this right. Soul bonds be damned, Victor wanted Yuuri to want to be with him, not to feel like he had to. That meant romancing him, and if there was one thing Victor was good at, it was romance. At least, he was good at it in his books. He’d never really attempted it before in reality. After all, why spend time trying to romance someone who wasn’t his soulmate? That just didn’t make sense. Yuuri was special. Victor knew he was, and he wanted to be able to show Yuuri that he was serious about this.

“Victor?” Looking up from his phone, he saw Isabella staring back at him, Makkachin at her side, “We’re here. You ready?”

Victor looked between them, a shy smile gracing his lips, “I’m… nervous. You think he’ll like me?”

Isabella rolled her eyes, stepping out of the car before opening the door for Victor, “He’s a fan. He already likes you. Just be yourself.”

Victor knew she was right, but the nerves were bubbling up inside. What was the first thing he should say to Yuuri? Should he be romantic? Silly? What would he like? There were so many things he didn’t know about Yuuri, but he wanted to know them all, and he wanted to be able to impress him. Victor had never felt that way before. Even as he followed Isabella into the building, stepping into the elevator with Makkachin in tow, his mind was racing. What if Yuuri didn’t like poodles? Could he really be bonded to someone who didn’t like Makkachin? Looking down at the poodle sitting beside him, Victor quickly shook off the thought. No, there was no one in the world who wouldn’t love Makkachin.

Victor’s whole body ached, and the romantic within him liked to think it was with the need to be close to Yuuri. It was like his body knew he was close, that they were nearly together again, and his body was crying out for Yuuri. Isabella may have been sceptical, but Victor was so sure. Yuuri was the one. He had to be. It took no time at all for the door to open when Isabella knocked at it, a stranger smiling brightly in their direction. Victor definitely had not met whoever this was.

“Victor, right? I’m Phichit, Yuuri’s roommate,” Makkachin rushed in before Victor had a chance to stop her, but Phichit just laughed, gesturing for them to join her. Victor was grateful for the offer. It had been a long trip, and feeling as sick as he did, all he wanted to do was pass out. So tired, so nauseous, every part of him ached.

Without hesitation, Victor said the one thing on his mind, “Where’s Yuuri?”

Phichit smirked, “He’s sleeping. I didn’t want to wake him since he’s been having so much trouble getting any rest. Follow me.”

Victor didn’t need more invitation than that, quickly falling into step behind him. He knew all too well what Yuuri was going through. The fatigue was the worst, but the aches and pains made it so difficult to succumb to sleep. Love sickness was so much more painful than he ever expected it to be. Victor wasn’t sure how people coped. It made sense now; why people rushed to find their soulmates the moment the symptoms started.

“Is he okay?” Victor chewed his lip nervously. Just thinking about Yuuri going through what he had made Victor’s stomach churn. Not a feeling he needed along with the nausea.

“I don’t know. I’ve never been through this before,” Phichit shrugged, “I’m sure he’ll be better when you two get back together.”

It was a lot of pressure. Phichit was just as certain that this was real as Victor was. As he opened the bedroom door, Victor hesitantly stepped inside. The room was dark, which wasn’t all that surprising with the light sensitivity, and Victor was grateful. Stepping closer, he saw a lump under the blankets in the bed, black hair messy against the pillows. The bed looked so… inviting. Everything felt like instinct as Victor kicked off his shoes, closing the distance and carefully sitting on the bed beside Yuuri.

The angle wasn’t the best. He could barely see Yuuri’s face, but it didn’t matter. Victor was mesmerised by him all the same. All it would take would be a touch. It would take time to get better, a long period of physical contact, but a single touch would tell him if Yuuri was the one he was looking for. The nerves were back in full force, but Victor knew he had to do it. He wanted to. He wanted desperately for Yuuri to be the one. Staring down at the hand resting lazily on the bed beside Yuuri’s head, Victor reached out and rested his own against it.

The effect was almost immediate. Victor’s breath caught, his skin feeling warm, the ache for touch finally being answered after all this time. This wasn’t like when Isabella had touched him and nothing changed. No, he felt like his skin was on fire, but in the most pleasant of ways. After so much time with no touch, his body yearning for affection, there it was. Yuuri’s skin against his own felt so good, so right, and without thinking, Victor was laying beside him on the bed, carefully threading their fingers together. Victor had no idea anything could feel so good. And just as that thought crossed his mind, Yuuri whined softly in his sleep, turning over and pulling Victor against him.

Victor froze, expecting Yuuri to wake, but he didn’t. Yuuri simply nuzzled against Victor’s exposed neck, his fingers moving under Victor’s shirt in an obvious attempt to achieve as much skin on skin contact as possible. Even in his sleep, Yuuri must’ve felt it, too. The warm, intoxicating heat of their skin brushing together, the way a fire burned within as they touched. Victor wrapped an arm around Yuuri’s waist, fingers dancing delicately along the sliver of exposed skin at his hip. He nuzzled into Yuuri’s hair, taking a deep breath and oh, Yuuri smelt so nice. Everything about the moment felt so right, Victor let himself relax in Yuuri’s arms. After so much travelling, he could finally sleep in Yuuri’s embrace. It felt like home.

* * *

 

Yuuri often dreamt of home. It had been so long since he’d last been to Japan. The beaches of Hasetsu held a lot of fond memories for him. It was a place where he often went to think. It took away all the bad thoughts, all the anxiety. The beaches of Hasetsu were a place where Yuuri could truly be himself. Sitting on a rock and staring out at the ocean as the waves gently licked at the shore, Yuuri felt at peace.

“This is nice,” Yuuri heard the familiar sound of Victor Nikiforov’s voice. Ever since he’d met him and heard it in person, his dreams had managed to take the Russian accent, to give the false Victor in his mind a realistic voice. Yuuri had become used to it. Hugging his knees to his chest, he kept staring out at the waves, saying nothing. Yuuri knew he was in a dream, and for once, he didn’t feel like indulging it. And then Victor was stepping closer, “Where are we?”

That was an unexpected question. Yuuri had never had to explain to the Victor in his dreams where they were. After all, what would be the point in him not knowing? He still didn’t bother looking up, his voice quiet as he finally spoke, “Hasetsu. Back home.”

Yuuri felt Victor sit beside him, their bodies barely brushing together. He’d dreamt of much more before. This really felt like nothing in the grand scheme of things, “This is where you grew up? It’s so relaxing,” Yuuri froze as he felt Victor’s hand gently brush against his knee, “Will you show me more?”

Yuuri looked down at Victor’s hand, the way it rested against him like it belonged there. Something wasn’t right. He couldn’t put his finger on what it was, but this wasn’t like other dreams. The Victor in his dreams was different. Yuuri frowned as he looked over at Victor, seeing the breathtaking blue of his eyes staring back, “You don’t… normally ask me that.”

Victor frowned, a confused expression on his face, and oh he was still so beautiful. How could he look beautiful even when he was confused? Yuuri was sure he’d look pretty first thing in the morning, hair a mess, drool on his chin. He’d look stunning crying. He’d always look beautiful. It was so unfair. Victor’s frown disappeared, a smile replacing it as he leaned his shoulder against Yuuri’s, “Well, we’ve only met once before, and we didn’t have a lot of time to talk then.”

Getting to his feet, Yuuri took a step back, head tilted to the side, “We’ve met in plenty of dreams, but you’ve never been like…this.”

Yuuri wasn’t completely sure what was going to happen. He’d had plenty of dreams that started out pleasant, only to lead into something terrifying. None of his dreams involving Victor had been that way, but there was a first time for everything. It would make sense, too. Yuuri was sick. Surely this would be the time to have nightmares. Yuuri eyed Victor suspiciously, trying to figure out why this one was different from all the other times he’d dreamt of him.

Victor got to his feet, making no move to step closer, “Yuuri… we’re in your bed right now. Wrapped up together, trying to sleep this thing off. When soulmates fall asleep touching, they can share dreams. Remember?”

Yuuri stumbled backwards, ending up on the sand, staring up at the man who had changed his life with his words, had given Yuuri new meaning long before they’d ever met. Phichit had mentioned it, but had he really gotten Victor to come all the way out to see him? But that would mean…

Victor Nikiforov was his soulmate. They were bound to each other.

Victor knelt beside him, a heart shaped grin appearing, “You’ve dreamt about me before?”

The blush crept onto Yuuri’s skin immediately, and he silently wished he wasn’t so easily flustered. Especially around Victor. Real Victor. Standing right in front of him, “You’re Victor Nikiforov. E-Everyone dreams about you,” Yuuri stammered, hoping he at least sounded more convincing to Victor than he did to himself.

Victor’s smile remained, sweet and beautiful, and utterly breathtaking. Yuuri was lost, unable to move as he watched this incredible man moving closer to him. His breath caught in his throat as Victor’s hands gently held his own, “Maybe. But you’re the only one who dreams  _ with _ me.”

Yuuri looked down at their hands, needing a moment to find his thoughts, because this was all a lot. So much. None of this could possibly be real. But Victor’s hands were soft, gentle, and despite every other time he’d seen Victor in his dreams, they felt like they were really there. Yuuri took a shaky breath, hesitantly looking back into those soft blue eyes, “This is real. This… is really happening.”

Victor hummed softly, letting go of one of Yuuri’s hands. He missed the warmth of Victor’s touch immediately, and it took all of Yuuri’s self-control to stop himself reaching out and taking it back, “Technically, this is still a dream,” Victor pointed out, a rose the shade of lavender appearing in his hand as if from nowhere. He tipped the rose to his nose, breathing in the scent with a content sigh before offering the flower to Yuuri, “But I’m real, and I’m here. And if you’ll have me, I’d like to try this ‘falling in love’ thing.”

Yuuri stared at the flower. He’d read every one of Victor’s books, and knew how much he loved to use flowers to convey meaning. It had been useful knowledge as a literature teacher. In romantic stories, flowers and their meanings seemed to come up quite a lot. Lavender. Yuuri went through his mind, trying to remember what it meant. Hesitantly taking the rose from Victor’s hand, Yuuri held it close to his chest. Love at first sight. Eagerness to fall in love. That’s what it meant, and Victor Nikiforov was gifting it to  _ him _ .

Yuuri smiled shyly, brushing a finger delicately over the soft purple petals, “Yeah… okay.”


	4. Dream Dates

There were some perks to dating someone within a dream. The main one being that absolutely anything within their imaginations could happen. There were no limits, nothing was too extravagant. If they wanted to take each other to the moon, they could do it. Yuuri had never really thought about dreams like that before, but Victor had opened his eyes to it. Victor had insisted that he take Yuuri on a date. Though, he didn’t so much take Yuuri anywhere. Instead, he changed the scenery around them to suit his desire for their time together. Yuuri didn’t know what to expect from Victor. Sure, he’d read all of his books, but he didn’t know what kind of romantic Victor was in reality. Well, dream reality… this was confusing.

The familiar beach of Hasetsu disappeared, replaced with an array of trees surrounding them. They stood tall, leaves blending together and covering the sky hanging over them until it felt like they were in their own secret world. The sun’s rays shone through the leaves, hitting the ground like starlight. Yuuri looked around them in awe and even as he did, the scene continued to change. The ground beneath his feet became lush grass. From the grass, an array of roses began to grow, not a thorn in sight. So many colours filled the scene with so many different meanings. Red for love and unconscious beauty, pink for happiness, even more lavender, yellows, whites. There were so many colours painting the scene and before long, the gentle scent of roses filled the air.

Yuuri knelt down beside a yellow rose, letting his fingers brush over the petals in wonder. And just when he thought the scene couldn’t possibly get more perfect, he heard a sound he would never have expected. It was quiet at first, a soft yapping sound as if from a distance, but soon more followed. Turning to Victor, Yuuri frowned, “What’s going on?”

Victor simply smiled to himself, clearly pleased with whatever his mind had conjured up for them, and before Yuuri had a chance to question it further, a group of poodle puppies were rushing in his direction, their little paws moving as quickly as they could manage. Yuuri gasped, holding out his arms as the closest one jumped up at him, licking and nipping gently at his cheek. Yuuri had no idea what paradise was until that moment. Suddenly, he knew exactly what heaven would be like.

Yuuri’s attention was completely on the group of puppies that had entered their little sanctuary, not noticing Victor sit on the grass beside him. This was technically a date, and Yuuri was pretty sure you weren’t meant to ignore your date, but it was difficult to focus on Victor when there were so many puppies surrounding him, desperate for his attention. How could Yuuri possibly refuse them? It just wouldn’t be right.

Spreading his legs out in front of him seemed to help, the puppies lounging over Yuuri’s legs and using him as a pillow. He pulled the closest one into his arms, cooing gently as he nudged his nose against the puppy’s. Yeah, this was definitely heaven. Victor chuckled as he watched Yuuri, adoration in his eyes, “I’m glad you like dogs. I was kinda worried you wouldn’t.”

“You drew a poodle in my book,” Yuuri noted, never looking up from the dog in his arms, “You obviously like them a lot, too.”

“I have a pet poodle. Her name’s Makkachin. She came with me to meet you,” Victor smiled, reaching out and brushing his fingers through one of the dog’s curly fur, “She’s probably asleep on our feet right now.”

“I can’t wait to meet her,” Yuuri smiled, meaning every word. It was strange. He didn’t know how he could be so calm in front of Victor Nikiforov, especially when he was doing all of this to make Yuuri happy. Maybe it still didn’t feel real. How could any of this really feel real? But when Victor smiled at him like he’d made him the happiest man in the world, Yuuri felt his heart soar in a way it never had before. He wanted to be close to Victor. He only hoped he could be close to him in the real world without making a fool of himself. Then again, there was still plenty of time to make a fool of himself in this place.

“You’ll love her!” Victor was suddenly so excited to be talking about his poodle, leaning against Yuuri as he retold tales of his youth, of finding a quiet little poodle pup named Makkachin in a shelter and falling in love with her, of how excited she would get when he took her for walks, and of her favourite treats. Victor spoke of Makkachin as so much more than his pet. She was a part of him. Yuuri wanted more than anything for her to like him.

Yuuri tried to take initiative from Victor’s manipulation of the dream, making some dog treats appear and handing a few to Victor, “Here, I’m sure they’ll be happy if you give them some.”

Victor’s smile was beaming as he picked up another one of the puppies, holding out a treat for it and watching as it nosed the food thoughtfully before snatching it away. Victor had always been this ethereal being, this person who was so much more beautiful than reality, so much more perfect than anyone Yuuri had ever met, and yet there was something about him when they were together like that. Something that felt so real.

Yuuri hummed softly, gently placing one of the puppies in Victor’s lap. He frowned as he looked around at all the roses and realised, “There’s no blue ones.”

“Of course not,” Victor chuckled softly, his fingers brushing delicately over Yuuri’s as he leaned closer. Their noses brushed and Yuuri was suddenly very aware of how close they were, how Victor’s breath felt warm and tingly against his skin, “I’m not some unattainable being. And neither are you. So, there’s no need for blue roses.”

Yuuri couldn’t look away from those eyes. Those beautiful eyes like the oceans of Hasetsu, they made Yuuri feel warm. They made him feel like he was home in a way he hadn’t since he was young. It was strangely welcoming. Yuuri chuckled nervously, moving his hand closer to Victor’s and letting their fingers interlace against the grass, “But they’d go with your eyes…”

Victor was leaning in closer, a slight blush on his cheeks, and Yuuri wasn’t sure what he did to deserve such a perfect moment. It would be a romantic story. He knew it would be. He met the love of his life in his dreams and they shared their first kiss in a field of roses with puppies sleeping in their laps. Yuuri could see himself telling that story for years to come, but instead, he looked away, Victor’s lips brushing against his cheek.

“I-I um…” The guilt was immediate. It wasn’t like he was trying to string Victor along. Not at all, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that this wasn’t real. No matter how real Victor was, this moment wasn’t. They might have been sharing it, but it wasn’t reality, and that thought kept plaguing Yuuri’s mind, “I just…think maybe if we’re going to kiss, our first kiss should be real… does that make sense?”

He expected to see pain in those blue eyes, expected to be told he wasn’t being fair. Instead, Victor’s smile grew bigger and brighter, and Yuuri could feel his heart melting just looking at him. Instead, Victor took Yuuri’s hand, brushing a delicate kiss to his knuckles, “That sounds perfect. You’re right, my Yuuri.”

_ My Yuuri. _

The words ran through Yuuri’s mind over and over. Victor’s Yuuri. He was Victor’s. That much, he couldn’t deny. They were bound to each other. His mind was spinning with the thought. Not only was he Victor’s. Victor wanted him. Victor was doing all of this because he wanted to be with him. Yuuri was living in one of Victor’s novels, and it was so sweet, so beautiful, everything he never realised he’d wanted in his life. Romance had never existed in his life passed the tales written in books. Yuuri had no idea the warm feeling could be so completely encompassing.

They fell into a quiet conversation, sitting in the field of roses and puppies. Yuuri already knew so much about Victor. He had fallen for Victor without ever having to meet him, fallen for his words, for his mind. The romantic within Victor was so enticing, and Yuuri found himself hanging on his every word. He’d thought maybe that would only happen in his stories, that after plenty of editing, his words held more than reality ever could, but it wasn’t that way at all. Victor was just as beautiful, just as wonderful to listen to outside of his books. Even when he said something nonsensical, something adorably random and completely out of nowhere, Yuuri still felt that pull, that need to be close to him in a way he’d never felt before.

Maybe that’s just what a soul bond did. Maybe he’d been attracted to the words on the pages because he and Victor were meant to find each other, were meant to make this bond. Yuuri didn’t want to believe that, though. He didn’t want to think that his love for literature stemmed from nothing more than fate. Because if he really believed that, then it would mean all the words Victor wrote were meaningless. Because if that were true, Yuuri would’ve loved anything he wrote at all. But Victor was smart, brilliant. His work was worth more than the concept of fate.

As Victor told Yuuri about St. Petersburg, about the beach and the people he’d left behind, Yuuri started picking the roses, carefully choosing colours that would hold the most meaning. The lavender felt important. Love at first sight really did seem to fit them well. When Yuuri had met Victor at that book signing, he’d been lost for words just looking at him. Victor Nikiforov was beautiful in every way. He picked white roses to go with the lavender. Innocence. Something about that seemed to fit. This, whatever they were, it was new and exciting, and completely uncertain. But Yuuri wanted it. He couldn’t pretend he hadn’t thought about being close to Victor before. He just had no idea it could actually be true.

Victor frowned as he watched Yuuri, a small smile tugging at his lips, “What’re you doing?”

Yuuri didn’t realise how focused he’d been on the roses in his hands until he heard the question, looking up from them with a blush on his cheeks, “O-Oh um… it’s nothing.”

He looked back down at the flowers in his lap, carefully threading and tying together the last of them until he had a lavender and white rose crown. Biting his lip, Yuuri looked back up at Victor, hesitantly moving closer and placing the crown on his head. Victor’s smile was breathtaking. Bright like sunshine, the shape of a heart and warm enough to make Yuuri’s own feel full. Victor carefully reached up, brushing a hand delicately over the crown, “How does it look?”

Yuuri’s smile was shy as he brushed away the silver hair from Victor’s eyes, something he’d thought about doing ever since they met. Victor’s eyes sparkled. They actually sparkled. Yuuri still couldn’t believe someone so incredibly beautiful could be real. But there he was. Before he could overthink, could question himself, Yuuri closed the distance, pressing his lips gently against Victor’s cheek. Averting his gaze, he cleared his throat, trying to push away the nervousness, “I-It… it looks p-perfect.”

A yelp filled the air as Victor pounced on Yuuri, pushing him to the ground as his arms wrapped tightly, protectively around him. Yuuri stared wide eyed at the man of his dreams, his idol, the man who had changed his life with the worlds he created. And then he felt Victor’s fingers brush delicately along his jaw, and Yuuri was deeply regretting telling Victor to wait on the kissing thing, because it was like having an angel holding him. A beautiful angel filled with love and care, and god, would it really be so bad for their first kiss to not be real? Did it really matter?

But Yuuri had already made that decision, and Victor had agreed. He couldn’t take it back no matter how much he wanted to. Instead, he reached out, carefully fixing the crown where it had shifted on Victor’s head, “I would’ve used blue if there were any.”

Victor raised an eyebrow, “This is your dream, Yuuri. You could make blue if you want.”

He hadn’t actually thought about that. Truthfully, it all felt so real, so insanely real. Victor was laid out over him, caressing his cheek, smiling like he was the world’s greatest treasure, and none of it should feel real. But it did. And Yuuri wondered idly if maybe this really was just a dream, even Victor. If it was, he’d be happy to stay right there in his arms, as long as he possibly could.

Yuuri felt a tiny tongue lick his cheek. He blinked up at Victor, utterly confused as the man above him began to laugh, and then Victor was sitting up on Yuuri’s lap, and he missed the touch so much, missed the warmth of Victor’s body slotted so perfectly against his own. Couldn’t they just stay like that forever? Was this really what people did on first dates? It all felt like a lot, and Yuuri wasn’t sure what to think anymore, but he liked it. He liked all of it.

Victor picked up the small puppy that had licked Yuuri’s cheek, placing it gently on his chest and watching as it’s little tail wagged excitedly, “I think these guys really like you.”

Yuuri couldn’t stop himself smiling even if he wanted to, gently tapping his finger against the puppy’s nose. The dog yapped excitedly, nipping at Yuuri’s finger, “You made them, so what does that say about you?”

Victor grinned, “I think you know how I feel about you, Yuuri.”

“But why?” Yuuri asked curiously, fingers brushing gently through the dog’s fur as he watched Victor’s face, trying to understand why any of this was happening. It didn’t make sense. The only thing that did make sense was the thing that scared Yuuri above everything else. He took a shaky breath, asking the question that had been rolling around in his mind since this all began, the question he was afraid to hear the answer for, “Are you just doing this because of the soul bond? If that wasn’t there… would you even look twice at me?”

Victor’s smile suddenly disappeared, and Yuuri wanted more than anything to take the question back, to bring the smile back. It felt so wrong to not see Victor Nikiforov smiling, “Maybe that’s part of the reason,” He admitted, and Yuuri felt his stomach tie up in knots. It made sense. Of course it did. Why else would Victor want anything to do with someone as completely average as him? Victor took Yuuri’s hand, lacing their fingers together, “But I do really like you. Even without the bond. Talking to you feels so easy, and we like the same things, and I feel like…I could spend the rest of my life with you. If the bond wasn’t there, I’d still feel that. But Yuuri, there are plenty of people who become bonded and remain best friends. That’s not what I want with you.”

Yuuri chewed his lip nervously, “Really? You’re sure?”

Victor laughed, brushing his thumb delicately over Yuuri’s hand, “You need to stop thinking so much and just enjoy this.”

“Thinking too much is what I do,” Yuuri smiled sadly, knowing how true those words were. Thinking too much was usually how he ruined things, too. It was just his way. Good things didn’t happen to Yuuri Katsuki. When they did, there was always a catch. Victor was the greatest thing that could ever happen to him. Now more than ever, he was expecting there to be a catch.

Victor hummed thoughtfully, “Stay there, close your eyes.”

Yuuri frowned as he watched Victor, but did as he said, laying out in the blanket of roses and staring up at the sunlight shining through the leaves. After a moment, he let his eyes close, trusting in Victor, whatever it was he had planned. A moment later, he felt a weight pressed gently on his arm. Then another. And another. He was weighed down at his legs, too, feeling a slight movement from whatever it was, and then there was another weight pressing gently down on his stomach.

“You can open them now, just don’t move,” Victor’s voice was soft, and Yuuri did as he was told, opening his eyes and looking down to see himself covered in little poodles. Some nuzzled at his skin, some dozed lazily. Yuuri bit his lip, giggling softly despite himself, the one settled on his stomach bouncing slightly with the movement. A kiss was pressed to the top of his head, causing Yuuri to look back at Victor, “You can’t be unhappy when you’re covered in puppies.”

“You know, I’d try to be sweet and brush your hair out of your eyes again, but I can’t move,” Yuuri smiled as the wonderful sound of Victor’s laughter filled the air. If this was what love was supposed to feel like, then Yuuri wanted it to last forever.

“Now it’s your turn,” Victor grinned, “I want to know what your perfect date looks like. Will you show me?”


	5. Melting the Ice

Victor hadn’t been sure what kind of person Yuuri would be. Sure, they were bound to each other, but that didn’t mean they had to like each other. But Victor wanted to. He desperately did, and the romantic within him had always been so certain that he’d fall madly in love with his soulmate, that they’d be so much more than close friends, and he’d have someone in his life who could make him happy, someone who would understand him better than anyone else. Victor hadn’t been sure if Yuuri would be that person, but every moment he spent with him in his dream made Victor want to be closer, made him want to hear that soft laugh, to see that breathtaking smile. Yuuri Katsuki was so much more than he thought he was, and Victor was falling hard and fast. Maybe that’s what people meant about soulmates, about feeling that bond. He never thought he could fall for someone so immediately, but Yuuri was something special. Yuuri was his.

So, he wanted to know more about Yuuri. Everything about him that he could learn would just make Victor fall for him even more, he was certain. He’d shown Yuuri a little glimpse into his mind, had tried to be as much of a romantic as he possibly could. Now it was Yuuri’s turn to try to woo Victor, though he really didn’t need to do anything at all. Victor had been won over the moment Yuuri placed that flower crown on his head. So sweet, such a simple but incredibly endearing gesture. Victor wanted Yuuri in his life for the rest of time.

Having sat up from the poodles placed all over him, Yuuri had three sitting in his lap. He looked down at them, chewing his lip nervously, “I don’t really know… I’ve never been on any real dates. I mean, what’s the point when it’s not your soulmate, you know?” The tinge of pink on Yuuri’s cheeks was utterly charming.

Victor reached out, resting a hand on Yuuri’s knee, “So, take me on the date of your dreams.”

He watched as Yuuri seemed to think on those words, to consider what that really meant to him. Victor wanted to know him, to understand Yuuri’s mind, and he was sure this would be the best way. At least, Victor was a hopeless romantic, and he wanted to see what kind of romantic Yuuri was. He hoped maybe they could just share more time together, to see Yuuri smile some more, to hear his voice sweet like sugar.

Victor’s eyes were trained on Yuuri. It took him a moment to realise that the sanctuary he’d created from trees and roses was fading away. The grass stayed beneath Yuuri and the poodles, a small fenced off area appearing around them. Victor raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his lips.

Yuuri’s blush grew deeper, “I can’t just make the puppies disappear. What kinda monster do you think I am?”

It was so simple, but Victor felt his heart melting, “Oh, you have no idea how attractive you are right now.”

Receiving a roll of the eyes from Yuuri, Victor could only watch as he got to his feet, carefully stepping out of the dog’s pen and taking Victor’s hand. Yuuri’s fingers laced with his own so easily. Like they were made for each other. It was a thought that seemed to be constantly crossing Victor’s mind. They were made for each other. That’s what soulmates were. Their other halves. Two pieces coming together to complete each other. Victor had never really felt incomplete in his life, and he never liked to think you needed romance to live, but Yuuri did feel like a part of him, like a part he had no idea was missing. He wouldn’t have missed it had he never known, but now that he did, he couldn’t bear the thought of living without Yuuri’s presence in his life.

Victor watched as more of the scenery changed, the sky changing from bright, sunny skies to a dark night, starlight twinkling beautifully above them. Nearby, an ice rink appeared, and Victor’s breath caught as he realised what it was Yuuri was doing. Victor gently squeezed Yuuri’s hand, “This… is the scene from my book.”

“It’s my favourite book,” Yuuri admitted, stepping towards the rink and pulling Victor with him, “I always thought it would be so romantic to skate with someone under the stars,” Yuuri turned to face Victor, a shy nervousness in his eyes, “ _ Melting the Ice _ changed my life, you know? It was the first of your books that I ever read, and it made me feel…I don’t know, like there was a hope in the world I’d never seen before.”

Victor had been told plenty of times that his books had inspired people, that they made people happy, they helped people through difficult times, and every time he heard it, it made him happy, but this was something different. His books brought Yuuri hope. His books brought this beautiful man, his soulmate happiness. Even before they knew each other, he was able to make Yuuri smile, and that meant so much more to Victor than anything else ever could. Victor smiled, a breathless chuckle leaving his lips, “You should stop talking if you don’t want me to kiss you.”

Yuuri looked away, tugging Victor forward, “I didn’t say I didn’t want you to… just not yet.”

It was a start, at least. Victor couldn’t pretend he wasn’t disappointed when Yuuri denied his kiss, but he understood the reason, and it was sweet, endearing. Victor hadn’t realised until Yuuri said it, but he wanted it, too. He wanted their first kiss to be something real, tangible. Not something that was nothing more than a fairy tale in a dream. But that thought alone led Victor back to the same conclusion; he’d get a kiss eventually. Yuuri hadn’t denied that he wanted one, and Victor couldn’t stop thinking about how pretty Yuuri was, how kissable those lips were. He could only convey how interested he was with words alone. Victor thought maybe a kiss would show Yuuri that this was real, that he wanted this.

As they stepped towards the ice, they didn’t even need to bother putting on skates, blades appearing on the bottom of their shoes, and Yuuri snorted as he saw Victor’s, “Gold? Seriously?”

Victor grinned, proud to have caused the adorable sound, “I’m not good enough for gold?”

Yuuri laughed, stepping onto the ice and dragging Victor forward, “Oh, you’re good enough for platinum.”

It was so simple, and it came from Yuuri from nowhere, like he was just letting his thoughts run free. If this was the way Yuuri thought, Victor wanted to hear him talk like this forever; no filter. Victor held Yuuri’s hand as they moved slowly but gracefully along the ice. Yuuri seemed so carefree, so at ease on the ice. Victor smiled fondly, “Do you skate a lot?”

“Hm?” Yuuri looked over at him, letting go of Victor’s hand to skate gently around him, “No, not really. I don’t have much time.”

“Huh. You wouldn’t know it. You skate so beautifully,” It was more than that, though. On the ice, Yuuri seemed like he was at home. Even when they were in that field of roses, Yuuri hadn’t looked this happy.

Yuuri let himself move gently left and right, a slow winding pattern appearing under his feet as he did, “It’s not that I’m good at this,” He admitted, biting his lip, and that blush was back for the millionth time, but still just as pretty as ever, “I think it’s just…I’ve always wanted to do this. And I get to do it with  _ you _ . It’s a lot to take in. I’m just really happy.”

Victor moved forward, taking Yuuri’s hand and resting his other against Yuuri’s waist, holding him as if they were starting a dance. He moved into Yuuri’s space, resting their heads together, and Victor had to stop himself closing that gap, letting their lips press together. It would be so easy, but he couldn’t. Not yet. Their first kiss would be perfect, but this was not the time. Victor felt Yuuri’s warm breath against his skin, Yuuri’s free hand resting against his chest, “There’s no one in the world I’d want to be with more than you right now.”

“Really?” Yuuri sounded so surprised, voice quiet like a prayer.

Victor brushed his thumb gently against Yuuri’s hip, enjoying the closeness as the blades gently moved them in a delicate circle, “I don’t know what else to do to prove to you that I want this.”

“But… why me?” For once, Yuuri didn’t look away, instead keeping those pretty eyes trained on Victor’s, “You could have anyone in the world. We could just stay friends. Why me?”

Victor knew he was right, that soul bonds didn’t mean they had to be romantic, but Yuuri felt special. Yuuri felt like something so much more than a friend, and Victor wanted that. He wanted it desperately, wanted to be someone’s everything, wanted to shower Yuuri with all the love he’d never had before, but always deserved, “Because it doesn’t feel right with anyone else but you.”

Yuuri let go of Victor’s hand, and for a moment, he was sure he’d said the wrong thing. Why else would Yuuri be letting go? But then Yuuri’s arms were wrapping around Victor’s waist, holding him tight, and as Victor’s arms wound gently around Yuuri, he felt like he had the whole world right there in his arms. If Victor had nothing else in his life but this feeling, he could die happy. Victor was the moon, with Yuuri his world; the centre of everything.

“You’re so warm,” Victor murmured softly, letting himself bask in the feeling that washed over him just having Yuuri in his arms. They fit. They really fit. Like two sides of a coin, like puzzle pieces. Victor had no idea anything could feel so right, but it did, and it was wonderful.

He felt Yuuri nuzzle against his neck, his warm breath tickling against his skin. Victor could’ve stayed like that for the rest of time. Yuuri’s lips moved gently against his skin as he spoke, voice muffled, “I wish this was real.”

“It is,” Victor reassured, and for once, he knew it was true. The dream wasn’t real. None of the things they’d been doing thus far had been real, but this was. Victor couldn’t possibly forget the way it felt when Yuuri wrapped his arms around him, when he let his own arms wrap around Yuuri and fell asleep. Holding Yuuri was real, and it was happening even beyond the dream they were sharing.

Yuuri pulled away just enough to look up at Victor, tilting his head to the side, curiosity in those pretty eyes, and oh, Victor knew he’d do anything Yuuri wanted if he kept looking at him like that, “We’re really… in bed together right now? In the real world?”

Victor hummed happily just thinking about it, “I held your hand, and that horrible feeling started to go away. Everything felt so wrong, but your touch was warm and comforting, and it was like everything I’d been missing since we met.”

“I felt that, too,” Yuuri admitted, looking away, “Like my skin didn’t fit, or it just… wasn’t right. No matter what I did.”

It was a double-edged sword. Victor was so happy to know that he hadn’t been alone, that Yuuri had felt it, too, but he hated knowing he had put Yuuri through such discomfort. It didn’t matter now. That’s how he tried to reason with himself, at least. Yuuri was here now, in his arms, and Victor would never let him feel that ever again, “When I held your hand, you wrapped yourself up in my arms. It was like even in your sleep, you knew. You felt it, too.”

The way Yuuri’s breath caught, Victor smiled shyly, hoping he’d said the right thing, “I fell asleep with you in my arms, and I ended up here. With you,” He brushed a finger under Yuuri’s chin, making sure he was looking into his eyes, “And there’s nothing in the world that’s made me happier.”

Though Yuuri had pulled away, Victor could still see his smile, could feel Yuuri’s hand in his own as he pulled Victor in gentle circles, “I want to stay here with you, but I want to wake up with you, too. Does that make sense?”

“Of course it does,” Victor hummed his agreement, following Yuuri’s lead around the ice, “But we have our whole lives to share as many dreams together as you want.”

The way Yuuri suddenly stopped caught Victor off guard. He found himself ploughing into Yuuri, quickly wrapping his arms around him as they fell to the cold ground. Yuuri groaned painfully and Victor frowned, as he brushed a hand gently along his side, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just didn’t expect you to stop. Are you okay?”

Anger was the expected reaction. Frustration, annoyance. Something like that. Instead, Yuuri started laughing, a bright, brilliant sound like music, and Victor never knew anyone could be so unabashedly beautiful until that moment; dark hair falling in his eyes as they crinkled with mirth, his arms wrapping loosely around Victor’s waist, holding him in place, “You fell for me.”

Victor grinned, his heart feeling warm and full. He’d never felt so alive, so in love, “I fell for you a long time ago.”

“So did I,” Yuuri admitted, letting his fingers brush along Victor’s back; so gentle, so comforting, “I fell in love with your words, and then with the man behind them, but I never knew I could actually be like this with you. I never knew I could be this happy.”

“If you’ll let me, I’ll do everything I can to make you this happy forever,” Victor felt the words leaving him without a second thought, the hopeless romantic within him falling more and more in love with every passing moment. He was offering Yuuri his life, but he’d give it eagerly. All Victor wanted was to hear that laugh every day, because Yuuri’s smile, his laugh had made him so much happier than anything in his life ever had before.

Yuuri’s smile never faltered as he gently ran his hand along Victor’s arm until he reached his hand, taking it gently within his own like that’s where they belonged, “How about you start by watching the stars with me?”

It was a simple request, one that Victor was all too willing to accept. He carefully rolled over until he was laying on the ice beside Yuuri, never letting go of his hand. He let his thumb brush delicately over Yuuri’s hand, enjoying the sensation of his soft skin, his warm hand matching his own. Yuuri shuffled himself closer until their bodies were pressed together, “Do you know any of the constellations?”

Victor chewed his lip as he tried to go through all the things he’d been taught as a kid. Astronomy hadn’t been all that interesting to him at the time. Of course, stars were pretty and romantic, but he didn’t know much about them beyond that. That wouldn’t impress Yuuri, though. And impressing Yuuri was his main aim. Victor stared up at the stars, voice soft, “Well… I know that… those ones kinda look like a snowflake.”

Yuuri laughed, soft and gentle. Victor didn’t care that he didn’t know. It was worth it for that sound, “It’s okay, I don’t really know them, either. I’ve wanted to learn, but I kinda like the stars being a mystery. It means we can make up our own stories for them, you know?”

Moving Yuuri’s hand to his lips, Victor brushed a gentle kiss to his knuckles, “There’s a star in the sky. One so bright that everyone wants to be close to him, they see him as something unattainable, so supremely desirable. He sees himself as something completely average.”

Yuuri frowned as he listened to Victor, “Is the star meant to be you or me?”

“Shh, don’t go analysing the story before it’s done, mister literature teacher,” Yuuri chuckled, resting his head against Victor’s shoulder. He took it as his cue to continue, “There was another star who didn’t shine quite as bright as all the others and thought he was even less than average, that he had nothing to offer the world. But when he met the bright star, he gave the star something that had been missing.”

“What did he give him?” Yuuri asked curiously, completely enamoured with Victor’s story.

“Love. Hope. A reason to keep going. Where everyone else saw the bright star for the light he gave off, this one, saw him for who he really was; the star beneath the sparkles.”

Victor felt Yuuri gently squeeze his hand, a soft reassurance, “You are so much more than your books, Victor. That’s why I find it so hard to believe you’re real.”

“And you’re a lot more than you think you are, too.”

Yuuri turned onto his side, looking up at Victor and smiling shyly, “Will you…show me how you were… or I guess  _ are _ holding me in the real world?”

Victor could feel the butterflies in his stomach, the way Yuuri made him feel so special with just the simplest of words, but he didn’t need more invitation than that. He turned onto his side, looking into Yuuri’s eyes and shifting himself closer, “You um… you put your hands around my back, under my shirt.”

Yuuri blushed, “O-Oh. You mean, like…this?” His movements were hesitant, but sure enough, Yuuri was carefully moving his hands under Victor’s shirt and resting them against his back. Victor didn’t care how cold those hands were in the proximity of the cold ice because they were Yuuri’s. They were soft, and comforting, and that was all he needed.

“Yeah, and you had your head rested against my neck,” Victor smiled, watching the way Yuuri looked sceptically at him, “I’m serious. You were just as touch starved as me.”

That seemed to be enough to convince Yuuri and he was shuffling himself closer still, resting his head against Victor’s neck, nuzzling his nose against his skin. Victor let his own arms wrap delicately around Yuuri, brushing under the hem of his shirt and gently along smooth skin, “Mhm just like this…”

It didn’t feel as perfect as reality, but it was close. Victor felt Yuuri brush a kiss against his skin like he was something precious, something to be cherished, and then he was whispering, soft and sincere, “I hope you’re still here when I wake up.”


	6. Family

Yuuri felt warm. That was the first thing he noticed. There was a warmth he’d never quite felt before. His headache wasn’t there, and he didn’t know about the light sensitivity, not wanting to open his eyes. Everything felt so nice, like he was on a cloud, and then he remembered everything he’d dreamt about. All the little moments he’d shared with Victor Nikiforov in his mind were still there, burning into his mind, and he was left with one question; was it real?

Hesitantly, he let his eyes flutter open, feeling himself being held in the same way Victor had been holding him in that dream, feeling his own fingers resting against warm skin. He nudged his nose gently against the jaw his head had been resting beneath, a soft sigh escaping his lips because oh, it felt so nice, his skin felt so soft and warm, and after so long feeling like it didn’t fit, this was heaven. And then his bed partner was shifting gently in his arms, blue eyes meeting his own, and Yuuri wasn’t sure whether his heart had stopped or sped up. Victor. Victor was in his bed. This was real. It was really happening.

The soft smile was all the answer he needed. Victor was there and was looking at him with so much love in his eyes. Everything in that dream had been real. Everything he’d said, everything they felt. All of it. Victor Nikiforov was his soulmate, and Victor wanted to be with him. Yuuri wasn’t sure which of them did it. Maybe it was both of them. That probably would’ve been the most romantic thought, but suddenly their noses were brushing delicately together, lips connecting in a tentative kiss. Yuuri had been so determined for his first kiss with Victor to be real, to not be something in his dreams, because that would only confuse him. But their lips pressed together felt simple and right, and Yuuri hadn’t known until that moment that he’d been missing something from his life.

Their lips lingered together, pulling away after a moment, and Yuuri felt like maybe he was still in his dream, because Victor was so beautiful even when he’d just woken up, even with silver hair messily falling all over the place. Victor was so unreal, and Yuuri wanted more of him. He was allowed that much, right? They were bound to each other. Yuuri belonged to Victor, and Victor belonged to him, and nothing had felt more perfect than that thought alone. So, Yuuri was pulling Victor closer, letting their lips move together, gentle and sweet. Victor’s lips were soft, tempting. And the gentle caresses soon became so much more.

This was more than just someone to keep him warm at night. There were people all over the world who waited all their lives to create a soul bond with someone. Yuuri had never realised how wonderful it could feel, but he was suddenly very desperate to have Victor close, to have him in his arms and to taste those lips he’d been missing all his life. Victor’s tongue swiped delicately over Yuuri’s lips, and he shivered under the sweet touch, his lips parting in invitation. Fingers tangled in Victor’s hair as their kisses became more passionate, making up for so many years of lost time. Yuuri had no idea anything could feel as right as Victor’s lips did against his own.

Their legs tangled together and Yuuri let his teeth gently graze over Victor’s lip, enjoying the soft sound of approval he received in turn, leaning into the hand resting at the small of his back. Yuuri would’ve been happy to live in that moment for the rest of time, to kiss Victor forever, and know that nobody could love him quite like this, no one could make him feel so complete.

“Did I…miss something?”

Yuuri gasped, pulling away from Victor’s lips at the sound of Phichit’s voice, and looking up at his best friend at the other end of the room, “Wh-What are you…doing here?”

“Watching over my very sick friend,” Phichit raised an eyebrow, “Since when are you two on kissing terms?”

Yuuri watched in stunned silence as a woman he didn’t recognise rested a hand on Phichit’s shoulder, guiding him out of the room, “You’d be surprised how common that is with soulmates.”

He watched as they left, the door closing behind them. Once they were alone, Yuuri let his head rest against Victor’s chest, sighing softly, “Oh my god…”

“That was definitely worth the wait,” Yuuri could hear the smirk in Victor’s voice and gently slapped his arm, “What? You’re a great kisser.”

“Not helping,” Despite his words, Yuuri smiled. He smiled because he’d never felt so happy before, never known that he could be so close to Victor without fearing what kind of thing he’d do to make a fool of himself. Yuuri had no idea anything could feel quite so natural, but it was true what people said; Victor was like his other half. It felt easy being around him, felt like being with a part of himself he hadn’t realised wasn’t there.

Victor’s fingers were soft against Yuuri’s skin as he caressed his cheek, and Yuuri felt himself leaning into the touch without a second thought. Victor had him. Completely. Yuuri would give himself to Victor a million times over, “Can I kiss you again?”

Yuuri looked up at Victor laying beside him, seeing a twinkle of mischief in those eyes. He knew one thing for certain; Victor Nikiforov would never let his life be boring, “Well, since we’re actually alone…”

There was something enticing about Victor. He was so beautiful, so wonderful, and Yuuri had watched a room full of people desperate to be close to him before. It felt strange to believe that despite all that, Victor was there with him. Victor was his, and it was something he never realised he wanted quite so badly before.

Victor’s smile was bright and brilliant as he closed the barely there gap between them, letting their lips linger together, soft and gentle. Yuuri wanted to be perfect for Victor, but when he was kissing him like that, the whole world seemed to fade away, like there was nothing but them, that moment, and Yuuri would’ve been happy for that to be true for the rest of time. He nipped Victor’s lip playfully, enjoying the feel of Victor’s smile against his own. And suddenly Victor was turning them over, pinning Yuuri to the bed, and a soft giggle escaped Yuuri’s lips as he ran his fingers gently along Victor’s back.

“You’re trying to tease me, aren’t you?” Victor murmured between soft kisses. Yuuri felt like he was melting, like he was laying on a cloud, everything so soft and welcoming.

He smirked as he watched Victor, biting his lip. Truthfully, Yuuri had never felt so happy before. He couldn’t put into words what it was, or why. He simply felt like everything made sense, everything was exactly as it should be, and he didn’t want anything to change. Yuuri tried to hold back a laugh as he watched Victor, “Why, is it working?”

A gasp left Victor’s lips, feigning shock as he dramatically rested his head against Yuuri’s chest, “What did I do to deserve such a cruel soulmate?”

Yuuri laughed despite himself, fingers tangling gently in silver hair. Wow, it really was silver. He’d noticed it at the book signing, but now he could touch it, could enjoy how soft it was, how it shined in the light. Victor was too good to be true, too stunning to be real. He let a lock of hair tangle loosely around his finger, watching the way it easily untangled and settled back against the rest of Victor’s hair. So beautiful. He was so, so beautiful.

Victor looked up at Yuuri, smiling shyly, “What?”

Yuuri shook his head, “Nothing,” He chewed his lip nervously, looking away, “You know how many people want you to be their soulmate, right? I’m just trying to wrap my head around how I got to be the lucky one.”

Victor rolled his eyes, pressing a kiss to the top of Yuuri’s head, “There’s only one person I want to be bound to. Besides, I’m really not as much of a catch as everyone seems to think I am.”

Yuuri raised an eyebrow, letting his fingers move back and forth along Victor’s arm, “How could Victor Nikiforov, the world’s most hopeless romantic not be a catch?”

“Well, let’s see. I forget things a lot. I’m not very tactful,” Victor left gentle kisses along Yuuri’s jaw as he spoke, each touch light as a feather, sending waves of warmth through Yuuri, “I’m completely disorganised. When I try to cook, I usually burn the food. I could keep going.”

Yuuri brushed the pad of his thumb against Victor’s cheek, tilting his head as he looked into his eyes, “So, the greatest author of our generation isn’t as perfect as everyone thinks.”

Victor looked at Yuuri with utter confusion, and possibly awe? Yuuri wasn’t entirely sure what that look was, what Victor was thinking. It was always difficult to tell what was going through Victor’s mind, “You’re a literature teacher. Your job is to read books and analyse them, how could you possibly think that about me?”

Yuuri was surprised, but then that had been happening ever since a certain silver haired author turned up in his dream. It wasn’t something he expected; for Victor to not believe in his work. Or at least, to not believe in it as much as all his fans did. Victor wove worlds together with his words, made universes so beautiful, so enthralling, Yuuri often forgot he was supposed to analyse things. He let himself get lost in the moment, let himself feel things through the characters. Because that’s what Victor’s work was. It was beautiful and wonderful, and it made Yuuri feel things he’d never been able to feel in reality. Victor’s work was so much more than he thought it was, and it blew Yuuri’s mind that he couldn’t see it.

Yuuri brushed his fingers gently through Victor’s hair, looking into his eyes and he was reminded of Hasetstu, of the beach. Reminded of the place that had always given him comfort when he didn’t believe in himself. Victor was home. Even in the littlest parts of him, Victor was home, and Yuuri didn’t ever want to be away from him again. The pull of a soul bond was so much more than people said. Yuuri thought maybe he’d feel things for his soulmate, he’d want to be close to them because of a link, but it was so much stronger than that. He’d read everything Victor had written, had spent his life following Victor’s work, but this was the first time he felt like he really knew him, really understood him.

A soul link was more than just sharing dreams. Touching each other could help to share emotions, too, and maybe that’s what it was. Maybe this undying feeling of overwhelming love was Victor’s. Or maybe it was both their love blending together to create something so strong it was almost palpable. Yuuri didn’t know, didn’t care. Looking into those eyes, he knew that this is where he wanted to stay, that soulmates weren’t as overrated as he thought they were. Not when they could make you feel so wonderful.

Victor’s smile was soft, gentle, and oh so sweet as he watched Yuuri’s expression, “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Oh,” Yuuri’s teeth dug into his bottom lip as he let his hand fall from Victor’s hair, only to run his fingers delicately along his arm. It was like a gentle reassurance. Victor was there. Victor was real. Victor was his, “Your words are so beautiful, Victor. I can’t explain it. There’s something you do with your writing that no one else does. You drew me in, and I never wanted to leave. I’ve read so many books, but yours are the ones that have always stuck out for me. And that has nothing to do with the soul bond. That’s all you.”

Victor’s cheeks were heating up under the praise, a rosy glow on pale skin, and even then, he looked so pretty, so cute. Yuuri was reminded of that day in the bookstore with all those people swooning over Victor, desperate to get close, desperate to touch his hand in the hopes of being his soulmate. Anyone would’ve been lucky to have Victor.

“Why is  _ Melting the Ice _ your favourite?” Victor asked curiously, “I’ve written so many others since then.”

Yuuri hummed in agreement, because he had. So many. Victor had written dozens of books, and all of them were beautiful in their own way. All of them told stories of romance, of fantasy, and all gave the promise of a happy ending. Things Yuuri had desired in reality, but had no way of promising himself. Victor’s work always felt like a comfort. He trusted them. Even the books he hadn’t read, he trusted would end happily, because it was Victor. He had faith in Victor and the worlds he had created. But  _ Melting the Ice _ had always been special. It had always been the one Yuuri came back to.

Yuuri let his fingers move gently along Victor’s hand, brushing along his knuckles as he spoke, “It’s the first one I ever read. I love every book you’ve written, but there was something about that one. It was like… meeting you for the first time. It’s a moment in my life I always want to come back to. All your work is beautiful, but that one holds a special place in my heart.”

Victor’s smile grew as Yuuri spoke, that adorable heart shape appearing as he leaned closer, resting their heads together, “I warned you about talking like that, you know?”

Yuuri laughed, letting his fingers lace gently with Victor’s, “You asked, I just answered.”

There was something so easy about being with Victor. That’s what Yuuri couldn’t begin to fathom. Victor felt like an old friend, like someone he’d known all his life, and kissing him, being close to him, it all felt like something he’d done so many times before. This was all natural. This was the way things should’ve always been, and Yuuri wasn’t sure how he’d gone his whole life without Victor’s presence at his side, because now that he had it, everything made sense.

Victor’s lips were so close to Yuuri’s, he could feel the breath on his skin, warm, tantalising, and Yuuri nudged their noses together with a smile, “If you want to do it, just do it.”

Victor’s lips tasted like happiness, like the warmth of Summer, the sweetness of Spring. Yuuri had expected it to be new and scary, but it felt just as right as everything else with Victor had. A soft gasp escaped Yuuri’s lips as he felt gentle fingers drag under his shirt and dance delicately along his stomach. Victor used the moment of surprise to deepen the kiss, and Yuuri could feel that mischievous smile. Every touch from Victor was equal parts soft and intense, and Yuuri didn’t stand a chance. He’d given his heart to Victor a long time ago.

As Victor’s lips left his, Yuuri tried to follow, desperate for more of that wonderful feeling. He whined sadly as Victor moved too far away, hearing the gentle chuckle and pouting, “You’re teasing me.”

“You were teasing me,” Victor pointed out, brushing delicate kisses along Yuuri’s jaw, “Hm we’re perfect for each other.”

“Made for each other,” A breathless laugh left Yuuri, his eyes fluttering closed and fingers tangling gently in Victor’s hair. Victor’s fingers kept running along his skin, loving caresses that left Yuuri tingling everywhere they touched. After so much time feeling touch starved, Victor’s skin against his own was like a blessing. His kisses felt like little jolts of electricity against Yuuri’s jaw, soft but exciting, sending a wonderful energy through him, breathing new life into him.

Yuuri sighed happily as Victor’s kisses moved to his neck, warm breath on his skin as he spoke softly, “Be mine, Yuuri. I want us to always be like this.”

“I’d get nothing done,” Yuuri hummed happily, “But I’ve been yours for a long time,” The sound of a knock at the door should’ve told Victor to stop, but instead, Yuuri felt a gentle nip against the crook of his neck, giggling softly under his soft touch, “Victor, wait a second.”

“I waited twenty eight years to find you, I don’t want to wait anymore,” Victor whined sadly, reluctantly pulling away and calling out to the inconsiderate distraction, “This better be important!”

The door opened just a crack, and Yuuri couldn’t see who it was from Victor laying over him, but he heard the familiar sound of his best friend’s voice, “Um, sorry love birds, but someone is getting a little impatient.”

Yuuri frowned, “What? Who?” The door opened further, and a moment later, he heard feet rapidly rushing into the room, a large weight pressing over both of them, and a blur of brown fur before Yuuri was showered in slobbery kisses from a poodle much larger than the ones in the dream. Yuuri laughed, reaching out and rubbing behind the dog’s ears, “She’s so cute!” Yuuri gently pushed the dog away just enough to sit up, her paws resting on his chest as her tongue lolled to the side, tail wagging rapidly in her excitement, “It’s nice to meet you…Makkachin?”

Glancing over at Victor for confirmation, he was met with a look of utter adoration, “I told you he’d love you, Makka.”

“How could I not? Look at her!” Yuuri noted that Makkachin was very much like a big, fluffy, very affectionate teddy bear. Similar to her owner in a lot of ways. He’d always loved dogs, and Makkachin was so full of energy, so sweet and so, so adorable, Yuuri couldn’t imagine not falling immediately for the dog sitting on his lap.

As Victor’s arm wrapped around his waist, Yuuri felt a warm feeling wash over himself. For the first time since he’d left Hasetsu, Yuuri felt like he was part of a family.


	7. Epilogue

“Why is love such a prominent feature in literature?”

Yuuri watched as his class seemed to think over the question, Minami suddenly raising his hand, practically bouncing in his seat with the excitement of having an answer, “Because it makes the reader happy.”

Yuuri nodded to himself, stepping back to lean against his desk at the front of the class, “But it doesn’t make everyone happy.”

“It doesn’t?” Minami frowned, clearly confused.

“How does it make you feel, Yuri?”

“Makes me sick,” Yuri grumbled, his head resting on his hand, obviously bored, “Love shouldn’t be in stories.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Yuuri agreed, knowing full well that love wasn’t in every book you picked off a shelf, “But that wasn’t the question. Love is all around us, it’s found in almost every book you pick up. Maybe not romantic love, but the love you receive from your friends, family. It’s there all the time. Why?”

“Because writers are lazy,” Yuri smirked, knowing he’d be pushing the wrong buttons not just on Yuuri.

He sighed softly, glancing over at Victor, and it seemed to be all that was needed, Victor stepping forward and clearing his throat, “Love is all encompassing. It’s a part of us all. It’s something we strive to have,” Victor smiled sweetly, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked back at Yuri, “Describe it to me.”

“What?”

“Love. Describe what it feels like,” Victor tilted his head to the side, curious to hear his answer.

Yuri seemed to be taken off guard by the question, looking around the room as if hoping an answer would appear before him. Shockingly, it didn’t, “It… love feels like… happiness?”

Victor shrugged, “A very basic description. In truth, there aren’t any words that can truly capture what love feels like. Words can’t do it justice. So, to say a writer is lazy to fall back on love is naïve,” Yuuri smiled fondly as he watched Victor talk, knowing how passionate he was about the subject, “No, the reason love appears so often in all its different forms is because of the emotions it evokes. A writer’s job isn’t just to tell you a story. We want you to feel it, to become part of it. We want you so invested in those characters that you cry when they do, that you cheer for them when they succeed, and mourn their losses.”

Victor hummed softly, pacing slowly along the front of the classroom, gathering his thoughts, “It can be argued that love is at the centre of all emotion, that the reasons we feel everything we do stems from love, whatever type it may be. Love can bring us pain, anger, hatred. It can cause us to mourn, to grieve,” He glanced over at Yuuri, a smile tugging at his lips, “Or love can bring you elation, such unfathomable joy. Love is strong. And all the emotions that love causes are strong. Writers use this to make you feel.”

Yuuri smiled shyly as he looked away, chewing his lip nervously, “Alright guys, that’s all the time we have today. Don’t forget, next week’s our last lesson before exams, so study up!”

He watched as the students trickled out of the room, leaving he and Victor to themselves. It was surprising how much things could change over just a few short months. Victor’s editor had gone back home, but she still kept in touch. He sent her his work all the time, and Victor would get excited whenever she sent back the edits. But Victor had insisted on staying. He wanted Yuuri to keep the life he had, and was adamant that he could work anywhere in the world, so long as they were together. Yuuri would’ve been concerned about having Victor live with he and Phichit, but not only had those two become best friends, Phichit seemed to be staying out later and later. He’d even caught glimpses of Phichit hanging around the same stranger. Yuuri would have to ask him what that was all about later.

Victor stepped closer, resting his hands on the desk either side of Yuuri’s hips, pinning him in place, “How’d I do?”

Yuuri hummed softly, the desire to hold Victor so hard to resist. Instead, he looked up into those azure eyes, a smile tugging at his lips, “Well, when I asked you to be a guest speaker for my class, I didn’t expect you to give them all the answers.”

Victor pouted, his fingers moving over until they brushed gently against Yuuri’s, sending a warmth through him like a little shock of electricity, “They never would’ve gotten it on their own. Your classes are tough.”

“It’s college, Victor. It’s meant to be tough,” Yuuri pointed out, resting their heads together and sighing softly, “Listening to you talk about your work like that, though… can’t deny how sexy that is.”

“Yeah?” Victor grinned, his fingers moving further until they were resting gently against Yuuri’s hips, “You liked that, huh?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri let his eyes flutter closed, enjoying the closeness, the delicate touches, the way it felt to be in his soulmate’s arms, and oh Victor smelled nice, and looked nice, and there weren’t any words that truly captured how  _ nice _ this was. Yuuri reached out a hand, gently caressing along his temple, “I love your mind…”

Victor’s lips against his own were soft, gentle, and oh so perfect. Whenever Victor touched Yuuri, it sent a warmth through him, like the brush of Victor’s skin against his own burned into him, marking Yuuri as his forever, and he’d never complain. It was all he’d ever wanted. Yuuri cupped Victor’s cheek, sighing happily against his lips as he felt Victor’s arms wrapping securely around his waist. He’d never get tired of it, never stop loving how wonderful it felt to be right there with the love of his life, and know that he could have this feeling for the rest of time.

Emotions weaved together; Yuuri’s happiness, Victor’s love. Sharing their euphoria in a gentle moment that belonged to each other. Yuuri was lost in Victor’s kiss, in the feelings as they floated together, melting into something indescribably them. Sharing dreams was nice. Sharing emotions was something else, something so overwhelmingly special, so undeniably perfect. 

As Victor pulled away, he let his fingers dance delicately along Yuuri’s spine, “I hope that’s not the only thing you love about me.”

Shifting onto his toes, Yuuri leaned up and pressed a kiss to the tip of Victor’s nose, grinning, “I can think of a few other things.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for indulging me on this fluff-fest, guys. I didn't expect to receive so much support for this fic.


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